Friday, August 31, 2012

Off-the-Clock Humor

When I walked into the classroom Wednesday morning, Mrs. B. had a birthday bag full of gifts for me, including candy with clever little notes...

Have I ever mentioned how much I love working with her? Not only is she a terrific teacher, but she is an amazing person.

I know Mrs. B. reads my blog at times and that makes me a little nervous. I have asked her to remember that my personal life and my professional life are a bit different. For instance, at school I would not joke about marijuana or boobs like I did in this post and this post. I would never cuss around the children like I cussed here and here and I most certainly wouldn't show this or this or even this video to the students.

That is why I was sooo happy when I read my birthday card (which I happen to LOVE) from Mrs. B....

It seems that Mrs. B. has a (dare I say) "not so professional" side too.    :)

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Out of the Archives: My Idea of Theater Etiquette

I enjoy going to the movies, but there are a few things that I require.

1) I like to choose movies that are rated PG-13 or higher. Not because I enjoy nudity or foul language or blood and guts, but because I don't want to be in a room full of children (especially unattended children). When evening comes around, I have usually had my share of kids.

2) I have to get the big, refillable tub of popcorn with extra butter and a Diet Coke with crushed ice. If I can't get the treats, I may as well stay home and watch Netflix.

3) I prefer to sit on the very back row. I don't like people sitting behind me, mostly because I want to pig out on my popcorn in peace without feeling like people are saying "Holy cow. Look at that lady chow down. You'd think she hasn't eaten in a week."

4) I like to have empty chairs around me. I appreciate my personal space. What is it with people that think they need to sit so close anyway? Don and I can be the first and only two in the theater and, without fail, people come and sit in the row right in front of us.

Now, keeping the aforementioned in mind, let me describe my date night/ theater experience this week.

Monday night, Don and I chose to see 'The Adjustment Bureau'. We arrived early and paid a whopping nineteen dollars for a package deal...two tickets, one large refillable tub of popcorn with extra butter, 2 large, refillable Diet Coke's, and a package of Swedish Fish. (Not bad, huh?)

Although a few other people were already sitting in the theater, we were happy to see the back row was completely empty. Don and I no more than settled into our seats, when we looked up to see a couple coming straight toward us. "Great" I thought. "There are probably two hundred seats in here with only a dozen taken and these two are going to sit right by us?!"

I tried to concentrate on the movie, but was more worried about the two space invaders and how they were bound to notice that Don and I can put away an entire tub of popcorn by ourselves. Then, approximately three minutes into the movie, some dude sitting one row ahead of us, began laughing... loudly! "What's wrong with laughing during a movie?" you may be wondering. Well... nothing is wrong with laughing IF. IT'S. FUNNY. Have you seen 'The Adjustment Bureau'? It's not a comedy! At first, Don and I got a kick out of listening to the man laughing at humorless lines, but after awhile, it became annoying as hell. At one point, Don leaned over to me and said, "If this guy doesn't shut up soon, I'm going to suck Coke through my straw and spit it on him."

In the end, Hyena Man must have come down from his high or something, because he eventually stopped laughing. And, although I still felt paranoid about eating my popcorn, I was able to stop worrying about my husband wasting his perfectly good Diet Coke.

Monday, August 20, 2012

True Dat

Leave a comment and let me know how many of these ring true for you. :)

Friday, August 10, 2012

Almond Joy Bar Cookies

I pinned Almond Joy Pudding Cookies onto my Pinterest Sweets and Treats board awhile back and finally had a chance to bake them yesterday. This tasty recipe came from Dorothy's blog Crazy for Crust, a website loaded with recipes that are mainly desserts and sweets (my favorite kind).

I changed things up a bit and made bar cookies instead of individual cookies for these two reasons...

1) I made Butterfinger Oatmeal Cookies awhile back and wished I hadn't chopped up the candy bar quite so much. From that experience, I knew I wanted bigger chunks of Almond Joy than Dorothy's recommended 1 inch ball of dough would be able to hold.

2) It is blasted hot where I live, in the triple digits, and I reasoned that if I baked the dough all at once, I could turn my oven off sooner. :)

Anyway, here is my bar cookie version. If you would rather stick to individual cookies, click here for Dorothy's scrumptious Almond Joy Pudding Cookies. 

Almond Joy Bar Cookies


1 1/2 sticks butter, softened
3/4 cup brown sugar
1/4 sugar
1 (3.5 oz.) instant coconut cream pudding
2 eggs
1 tsp. vanilla extract
1 tsp. baking soda
1/4 tsp. salt
2 1/4 cups flour
18 mini Almond Joy candy bars, coarsely chopped


Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

Cream together butter and sugars. Add pudding mix and blend well. Add eggs and vanilla. Slowly add salt, soda and flour. Mix until combined. Gently stir in chopped candy bars.

Press dough evenly in ungreased 13x9 inch pan. Bake until golden brown, about 20 minutes.

Cool, cut into squares and enjoy!

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Saturday, August 4, 2012

How High Is Your Tolerance Threshold?

Cody- "Bang the... Bang the... Bang the walls."
            "Bang the... Bang the... Bang the walls."
            "Bang the... Bang the... Bang the walls."
             Repeat this at least 150 times...

Me- "Cody! If you don't quit saying that, I'm going to bang the walls (pause) with your head."

So, I snapped. It happens. Don't judge me.

After awhile, just when I thought Cody actually listened to me and stopped his mindless chatter...

Cody- "Gotta get get...Gotta get get...Gotta get get..."

Sometimes I swear he's not happy unless I've got something stuck in my head. In case you haven't figured it out, Cody was repeating opening lyrics to the Black Eyed Peas song Boom Boom Pow.

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