Too Many Descriptive Words

I have a love/hate relationship with Martha Stewart.

She bugs the snot out of me. Martha uses far too many adjectives. Next time you watch her television program or look at one of her clips on YouTube, pay attention. With most people, one adjective will usually do the job when describing a noun, but not for Martha. For example: The average person would describe chocolate cake as "delicious". Martha, on the other hand, not only would say the cake is delicious, but German, moist, scrumptious and beautiful as well.

Interrupting people when they speak is something else Martha does that annoys me. Personally, I think it is flat rude. In fact, at school we try to teach our Kindergarten children not to interrupt teachers or fellow classmates when they are speaking. For someone who is such a know-it-all, Martha sure could use some lessons in common courtesy.

I am not interested in being a domestic goddess like Martha. However, despite her obsession with descriptive words and the way she consistently interrupts her guests, I do benefit from watching cooking tips and craft projects on The Martha Stewart Show (and her magazines aren't so bad either).

Here are a few adjectives that come to my mind describing Martha Stewart... woman, mother, blond, tall, big, talented, rude, knowledgeable, rich, famous, obnoxious, arrogant, jail bird, perfectionist, entrepreneur, creative, businesswomen, savvy, author.

How would YOU describe Martha Stewart?

Un-friended

Have you ever had a facebook friend who's statuses made you feel like gagging? I did. She would post things like...

"I had a wonderful Saturday. This morning my husband, who happens to be the sweetest man on earth, took me on a hike. After we got home, I bottled 48 pints of peach jelly, while my husband cleaned the garage, mowed the lawn, and washed both of our cars. I am such a lucky woman. (I sure hope I get a foot rub tonight.)"

Gag.

"This morning I'm going to volunteer at the hospital. I look so cute in pink scrubs. After my art class, I plan on meeting up with some girl friends for brunch. After I scrub all three bathrooms and clean out every closet in the house, I'm going to prepare a five course meal for the family. I'm hoping my husband will agree to take the kids bowling (I'm sure he will because he's such a wonderful man). I plan to spend my evening soaking in a bubble bath with a good book."

Gag.

"I'm thinking about becoming a Girl Scout Leader. What do you think ladies? I have all of the skills needed to teach the girls. I can even set up a tent. Not just any woman can do that, right?!"

Gag.

Am I envious? I don't think so. Am I resentful? Maybe, but I got tired of reading her facebook bullshit updates, so I un-friended her. Nobody, not even Martha Stewart, has a life that perfect.

Please, tell me I'm not the only one who has discarded a "friend" with no regrets.