I'll Have Some Fried Chicken Livers and a Bowl of Dry Oats with some Memory Loss on the Side

While eating lunch at Cracker Barrel this afternoon, Don and I had a conversation that went something like this...

Don- What do we need to do before we go home?


Me- Well, we need to stop by Mail 'N More and use their fax machine, then go to the pharmacy and pick up your pills. Oh yeah. Let's swing by Papa Murphy's and grab a pizza for dinner, since it will be just me and you and Cody eating at home tonight. Pleeeease DO NOT let me forget.


We hit the pharmacy first, then Mail 'N More. Not until we were nearly home did I remember the stupid pizza. Which brings me to the whole point of this post...


I said, "S*#t! We forgot to go to Papa Murphy's."

Don asked if I wanted him to turn the car around and go back, to which I replied, "No. I'll figure something out." Then (knowing full well that Don does not like breakfast foods, especially for dinner) I added, "I will just make pancakes or something."


Don gagged and just about puked up his cholesterol upping, heart stopping, greasy fried chicken livers and okra." (FYI, the only thing I like about Cracker Barrel is their country store, but it was Don's turn to pick and Cracker Barrel is the only place around here that you can order southern foods like fried chicken liver, okra and collard greens.)


Since I was on a roll, I said, "Okay. If you don't want pancakes, how about oatmeal? (I also know that Don despises oatmeal even moreso that pancakes.)

Did I mention that I like to tease my husband?

Anyway, here is what the dear man had to say about that idea: "I'd rather go hungry. In fact, if I was starving and oatmeal was the only food on earth, I'd choose to eat a bowl of it dry instead of all cooked up and mushy."




Can you imagine eating this by the spoonful?



That, my friends, is my husband. He will eat sugary Easter Peeps, Circus Peanuts, Wafer Cookies, Fried Chicken Livers, Cheeto Cheese Balls by the handful and Kipper Snacks, but would rather go hungry than eat a bowl of healthy oatmeal. :)

Gift Wrap Bucket

A couple of years ago, my mom and her husband made gift buckets for their daughters and daughters-in-law and gave them to us on Thanksgiving Day. At that time, the buckets were full of Christmas wrapping paper, gift tags, Scotch tape, ribbon, scissors and other supplies. Because I am a bit of a Christmas freak, I put my bucket to good use that year.

Since then, I use my bucket to hold a variety of wrapping paper, gift bags, tissue and other items necessary for gift giving. I love it, not only because I have everything at my fingertips when I'm in a hurry to wrap a present, but because it takes up minimal space and it is portable!




If you are interested in making a gift bucket for yourself, Martha Stewart has a great tutorial and video reference on her website.

President's Day Art Courtesy of Kindergarten

The Kindergarten students have been learning about George Washington and Abraham Lincoln in honor of President's Day. Mrs. B. did an art activity with them on Friday. They were each given a piece of paper and crayons and directed to follow along as she drew Abe Lincoln on the Elmo (electronic whiteboard that projects onto the wall). The majority of the children watched carefully and listened attentively. Every student's picture turned out uniquely different, but cute just the same. I took pictures on my phone of a few of them for your viewing pleasure.

“Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once we grow up.”                     Pablo Picasso

If Cody Won a Year's Supply of Ice Cream...

Cody hates ice cream and his dad loves to tease him about it. When Cody was younger and we were in the car running errands, Don would pull up to a mail box, roll down the window and say (to the mailbox) something along the lines of… "Oh, hi! How are you today? Cody would like a Post Master Sundae with two scoops of ice cream and cherries on top.” (If there were security cameras around, anyone watching must have thought we were absolutely crazy or complete idiots…or both.) At this point, Cody would usually freak out a little bit and then Don would roll the window up and drive off.



Tonight, Cody convinced Don to play Walkie Talkies with him. Don went into the bedroom, alerted Cody with a ring, and this is the conversation that went down…


Cody - “Hello!”


Don- “Hello. This is Willy Wonka from the Ice Cream Factory looking for Mr. Cody Lancaster. Do you know where he is?”


Cody- “In the living room.”


Don- “Is this Cody Lancaster?”


Cody- “Yes it is.”


Don- “Cody, you just won a year’s supply of ice cream! What flavor would you like?”


Cody- “The who cares I hate it. 10-4. Bye.”



Hang up


Ring, Ring…


Cody – “Hello.”


Don- “I’m representing the Willy Wonka Ice Cream Factory and…”


Cody- “Okay. Bye.”


And just like that, Cody was no longer interested in playing with his dad.

Headline Bloopers by Professionals

My daughter is currently taking an editing class in college. She showed me a chapter in her textbook that has actual headline bloopers by professionals. Some of them are too funny not to share. Here are my favorites:

Typos...

Poll says that 53% believe media offen make mistakes

Schools to call for pubic input

13% of U.S. adults unable read or write English (Apparently this person is part of that 13%.)

Tribal council to hold June meeting in June (As opposed to October?)

Despite our best efforts, black employment is still rising

Headlines that say nothing...

School Board Agrees to Discuss Education (Converse about under paid teachers and struggling students instead of their own salaries and fringe benefits? Tell me it isn't so!)

Religion Plays Major Part in the Message of Easter (Unfortunately, this statement may indeed be a surprise to some people.)

Researchers call murder a threat to public health

Some students walk, others ride to school (Do the remainder fly or swim or what?)

Double Entendres

After dog died in heat, should owners have gotten off?

Marijuana issue sent to a joint committee (hahahaha)

Plan to deny welfare to applicants still alive

High-crime areas said to be safer

Culver police: Shooting victims unhelpful

Man executed after long speech (I've listened to a few speakers who made me feel this way.)

Condom week starts with a cautious bang

Dolls sent to flood homeless

Mad cow speaker at Arts Center

Prostitutes appeal to pope

OJ blamed for Disney salmonella outbreak (I believe OJ is guilty of several things, but I've got to draw the line at spreading salmonella around Disneyland.)

U.S. to seek new location (Where would that be? On another planet?)

Woman dies after 81 years of marriage

Giant women's health study short of volunteers

Bad Valentine Gifts

With the exception of buying me a fishing pole for Mother's Day once, my husband has been a fairly thoughtful gift giver.


I watched the following clip on Ellen today and had to post it on my blog. Men can be so blasted funny!

"Sleep Tight and Don't Let the Bed Bugs Bite" is NOT Just a Cute Bedtime Expression Anymore

Don and I have talked about taking a vacation on our anniversary this year, but the more I do my homework, the more I want to stay home.

As I was searching online, I came across a website that reports hotels in major cities with known bed bug infestations. For example, did you know that some of the more exquisite hotels in Las Vegas have bed bugs? (Click here.)

The last time I checked into a hotel room with my husband and daughter, they called me paranoid because I wouldn't let them set our luggage down until I inspected the mattresses in the room. That was over a year ago. I can only imagine how much worse the epidemic is now.

If I really want to take that anniversary trip with my husband, I will need to do one of two things... 

follow the advice in this article: 7 Travel Tips for Bedbug Phobia 

or...

sleep in my car!

Sock- Shoe, Sock-Shoe or Sock-Sock, Shoe-Shoe?

A few days ago, I came into the living room and Katelyn was watching the old sitcom All in the Family. She asked me, "What is this show mom? It's pretty funny." I briefed her on it a bit, explaining that Edith and Archie's daughter, Gloria, is Sally Struthers, the lady who played the grandmother on Still Standing.

I then told her about the episode when Archie and "Meathead" were arguing about the right way to put on socks and shoes. Then I asked Katelyn, "Haven't you ever noticed that your dad puts on sock-shoe, sock-shoe? It makes me crazy!" (Clearly, I'm with Archie on this issue.) 

Katelyn hadn't noticed, but then she asked me, "How do you put make-up on your eyes? Do you do all one eye and then the other, or do you do both eyes at the same time?"

 I said "I do them together...eyeliner-eyeliner, eyeshadow-eyeshadow, mascara-mascara. Why? Do you do all one side and then the other?!"

 "Sometimes" she said.




How do you put on your socks and shoes? Please let us know in the comment section. :)

Love Unconditionally...That's What Siblings Do

Source: 9gag.com via Chelsea on Pinterest