Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Feeling Just a Notch or Two Above Hillbilly and Hooker

My daughter is getting married in May and I have to buy myself a new dress. Most women enjoy shopping for new clothes. I don't. I have been to all of the retail clothing stores in town that have reasonable prices (like JCPenney and Kohl's) and have not found a single thing that I like. The fact that I could stand to lose a few pounds doesn't help, but body weight is not the point I want to make here. This is the problem. I have had to resort to shopping at the more expensive department stores and I have major insecurity issues when I walk through their doors. I feel like there might as well be a big black tattoo on my forehead that says "I don't belong here." You know, kinda like Vivian (Julia Roberts) in the Pretty Woman scene where she is shopping in a boutique on Rodeo Drive in her prostitute garb. Yep. I can totally relate. That is exactly how I feel, only I wear "camping clothes" (jeans and a t-shirt) instead of hooker attire.

This reminds me of a time in the '90s, when Don and I drove a 1985 Chevy Astro Van and decided to buy tickets to the Parade of Homes. For those of you who do not know what the Parade of Homes is, it is an opportunity for the public to tour brand new houses, usually in the $1,000,000 +  range. Seriously, we might as well have been riding in the Clampett contraption from the television series the Beverly Hillbilly's.

The Beverly HIllbillies in their car
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