How Don and I Spent Our Afternoon

(If you're expecting an R rated post, read no further.)

Don picked me up from work at noon and we headed to Deseret Industries. Those of you who are unfamiliar with this store, Deseret Industries is like Goodwill. Sometimes you can find good bargains there and I was on a hunt for materials to make a cupcake tier for my daughter-in-law's baby shower.

While we were waiting in line to purchase a gently used Elmo outfit and Old Navy jacket for my two year old grandson (the cupcake tier hunt proved to be unsuccessful), the cashier was helping a lady who had quite a few items and was struggling to put a scarf she just purchased in a plastic bag. (I later realized that watching her bag her own items should have been my first clue that the cashier was a jerk.) Suddenly Don and I heard the cashier yell, "Are you in line or what?! Duh de duh duh duh..." as he made faces and flapped his arms up and down like an out-of-control balancing scale.

Now, I consider myself a fairly patient person (dealing with Cody and all), but you can probably guess how well this flew with me. In a split second, after my initial shock, I looked the guy square in the eye and said, "What?! You have GOT to be kidding me!" He ignored my reaction and proceeded to ring up our items as I shook my head in unbelief. Wondering why Don wasn't reacting the same way I was, I left him there to deal with our purchase while I hunted down the manager to report the cashier's absolute unprofessional behavior.

Satisfied that I had at least reported him to his supervisor, Don and I left the building and climbed into our car. Still shaking our heads about what had happened we stopped at the red light and just as the light turned green, a lady driving behind us honked her damn horn. This is when Don and I started to laugh and we kept laughing even as we pulled up beside (not behind) Mrs. Impatient at the next red light. Don watched the traffic signal intently and just as it turned green, he honked our car horn. Maybe you had to be there, but it was funny. Mrs. Impatient made sure she stayed ahead of us all the way to her destination, which turned out to be Golden Corral, an all-you-can-eat buffet. IDK? I suppose the cranky woman was just in a hurry because she was hungry?

Realizing that we hadn't eaten lunch ourselves, Don and I decided to make our way to Jack-in-the Box and grab a bite to eat. (We didn't have time to follow our new friend into Golden Corral, sit in a table beside her and follow her around the buffet line telling her to hurry up. My husband's idea). Normally Don and I prefer to take fast food to go. However, because we could get free soda refills (at this point we were both in severe need of caffeine) AND I was wearing white pants and tend to be messy when eating tacos, we went inside. Midway through our meal, an elderly couple came into Jack-in-the-Box and proceeded to rearrange most of the tables in the dining room end to end. Within minutes more elderly couples began to arrive and take their seats at what was beginning to look like a Thanksgiving table. That's when Don leaned over and whispered to me, "Hurry up. Let's leave before I have to do CPR on someone. It appears to be geriatric day at Jack-in-the-Box." (Don has actually had to do CPR more than once, although not in fast food restaurants.)

We filled our cups to the brim with Diet Coke one final time and got back into our car, deciding to make one more stop at Wal-Mart before heading home. As we approached the freeway, we came to a green light at a fairly new intersection. There were only two trucks in front of us and they proceeded to sit through the entire light. (Had she been there, I'm fairly certain that Golden Corral lady would have had a mini-stroke.) I do realize that the first truck could have been having a mechanical issue, but it's doubtful. I think the driver was a small town man confused by the green arrows at an unfamiliar traffic light, or he was taking a power nap, or both.

Anyway, that was our afternoon. How was yours?

What Makes It All Worthwhile?

After work this afternoon, I came home to find this surprise waiting for me in the refrigerator...

Although she was long gone, Katelyn was thoughtful enough to pick me up a Diet Coke with crushed ice.

It's small and simple things like this that make me feel I've done something right in the parenting department.

Out of the Archives: My Idea of Theater Etiquette

I enjoy going to the movies, but there are a few things that I require.

1) I like to choose movies that are rated PG-13 or higher. Not because I enjoy nudity or foul language or blood and guts, but because I don't want to be in a room full of children (especially unattended children). When evening comes around, I have usually had my share of kids.

2) I have to get the big, refillable tub of popcorn with extra butter and a Diet Coke with crushed ice. If I can't get the treats, I may as well stay home and watch Netflix.

3) I prefer to sit on the very back row. I don't like people sitting behind me, mostly because I want to pig out on my popcorn in peace without feeling like people are saying "Holy cow. Look at that lady chow down. You'd think she hasn't eaten in a week."

4) I like to have empty chairs around me. I appreciate my personal space. What is it with people that think they need to sit so close anyway? Don and I can be the first and only two in the theater and, without fail, people come and sit in the row right in front of us.

Now, keeping the aforementioned in mind, let me describe my date night/ theater experience this week.

Monday night, Don and I chose to see 'The Adjustment Bureau'. We arrived early and paid a whopping nineteen dollars for a package deal...two tickets, one large refillable tub of popcorn with extra butter, 2 large, refillable Diet Coke's, and a package of Swedish Fish. (Not bad, huh?)

Although a few other people were already sitting in the theater, we were happy to see the back row was completely empty. Don and I no more than settled into our seats, when we looked up to see a couple coming straight toward us. "Great" I thought. "There are probably two hundred seats in here with only a dozen taken and these two are going to sit right by us?!"

I tried to concentrate on the movie, but was more worried about the two space invaders and how they were bound to notice that Don and I can put away an entire tub of popcorn by ourselves. Then, approximately three minutes into the movie, some dude sitting one row ahead of us, began laughing... loudly! "What's wrong with laughing during a movie?" you may be wondering. Well... nothing is wrong with laughing IF. IT'S. FUNNY. Have you seen 'The Adjustment Bureau'? It's not a comedy! At first, Don and I got a kick out of listening to the man laughing at humorless lines, but after awhile, it became annoying as hell. At one point, Don leaned over to me and said, "If this guy doesn't shut up soon, I'm going to suck Coke through my straw and spit it on him."

In the end, Hyena Man must have come down from his high or something, because he eventually stopped laughing. And, although I still felt paranoid about eating my popcorn, I was able to stop worrying about my husband wasting his perfectly good Diet Coke.

My Idea of Theater Etiquette

I enjoy going to the movies, but there are a few things that I require.

1) I like to choose movies that are rated PG-13 or higher. Not because I enjoy nudity or foul language or blood and guts, but because I don't want to be in a room full of children (especially unattended children). When evening comes around, I have usually had my share of kids.

2) I have to get the big, refillable tub of popcorn with extra butter and a Diet Coke with crushed ice. If I can't get the treats, I may as well stay home and watch Netflix.

3) I prefer to sit on the very back row. I don't like people sitting behind me, mostly because I want to pig out on my popcorn in peace without feeling like people are saying "Holy cow. Look at that lady chow down. You'd think she hasn't eaten in a week."

4) I like to have empty chairs around me. I appreciate my personal space. What is it with people that think they need to sit so close anyway? Don and I can be the first and only two in the theater and, without fail, people come and sit in the row right in front of us.

Now, keeping the aforementioned in mind, let me describe my date night/ theater experience this week.

Monday night, Don and I chose to see 'The Adjustment Bureau'. We arrived early and paid a whopping nineteen dollars for a package deal...two tickets, one large refillable tub of popcorn with extra butter, 2 large, refillable Diet Coke's, and a package of Swedish Fish. (Not bad, huh?)

Although a few other people were already sitting in the theater, we were happy to see the back row was completely empty. Don and I no more than settled into our seats, when we looked up to see a couple coming straight toward us. "Great" I thought. "There are probably two hundred seats in here with only a dozen taken and these two are going to sit right by us?!"

I tried to concentrate on the movie, but was more worried about the two space invaders and how they were bound to notice that Don and I can put away an entire tub of popcorn by ourselves. Then, approximately three minutes into the movie, some dude sitting one row ahead of us, began laughing... loudly! "What's wrong with laughing during a movie?" you may be wondering. Well... nothing is wrong with laughing IF. IT'S. FUNNY. Have you seen 'The Adjustment Bureau'? It's not a comedy! At first, Don and I got a kick out of listening to the man laughing at humorless lines, but after awhile, it became annoying as hell. At one point, Don leaned over to me and said, "If this guy doesn't shut up soon, I'm going to suck Coke through my straw and spit it on him."

In the end, Hyena Man must have come down from his high or something, because he eventually stopped laughing. And, although I still felt paranoid about eating my popcorn, I was able to stop worrying about my husband wasting his perfectly good Diet Coke.

Blogging - Exercise = Weight Gain

My new found addiction to blogging

is causing me to gain weight.

Instead of doing this...

 

or this...

or this...

or even this...

ALL I want to do is this...

 

One exception, instead of sipping a cup of coffee, I will be enjoying this...