Real World Problem Solving

During math this morning, one little boy was having a particularly hard time following directions, so Mrs. B. asked him to sit next to me. When math time was over and the students were asked to put their worksheets away, I looked down to see him hurriedly adding this to his paper...

The worksheet (about 3D shapes) was meant to help students learn the difference between a cone and a cylinder, but this little boy observed more. In his "real world problem solving" he recognized a need for something that nobody else seemed to notice. I choked back tears as lyrics from the children's songbook from church came to my mind:

I'll Walk With You

Lyrics: Carol Lynn Pearson

Music: Reid N. Nibley

If you don't walk as most people do,

Some people walk away from you,

But I won't! I won't!

If you don't talk as most people do,

Some people talk and laugh at you,

But I won't! I won't!

I'll walk with you. I'll talk with you.

That's how I'll show my love for you.

Jesus walked away from none.

He gave his love to ev'ryone.

So I will! I will!

Jesus blessed all he could see,

Then turned and said, "Come, follow me."

And I will! I will!

I will! I will!

I'll walk with you. I'll talk with you.

That's how I'll show my love for you.

Out of the Archives: My Idea of Theater Etiquette

I enjoy going to the movies, but there are a few things that I require.

1) I like to choose movies that are rated PG-13 or higher. Not because I enjoy nudity or foul language or blood and guts, but because I don't want to be in a room full of children (especially unattended children). When evening comes around, I have usually had my share of kids.

2) I have to get the big, refillable tub of popcorn with extra butter and a Diet Coke with crushed ice. If I can't get the treats, I may as well stay home and watch Netflix.

3) I prefer to sit on the very back row. I don't like people sitting behind me, mostly because I want to pig out on my popcorn in peace without feeling like people are saying "Holy cow. Look at that lady chow down. You'd think she hasn't eaten in a week."

4) I like to have empty chairs around me. I appreciate my personal space. What is it with people that think they need to sit so close anyway? Don and I can be the first and only two in the theater and, without fail, people come and sit in the row right in front of us.

Now, keeping the aforementioned in mind, let me describe my date night/ theater experience this week.

Monday night, Don and I chose to see 'The Adjustment Bureau'. We arrived early and paid a whopping nineteen dollars for a package deal...two tickets, one large refillable tub of popcorn with extra butter, 2 large, refillable Diet Coke's, and a package of Swedish Fish. (Not bad, huh?)

Although a few other people were already sitting in the theater, we were happy to see the back row was completely empty. Don and I no more than settled into our seats, when we looked up to see a couple coming straight toward us. "Great" I thought. "There are probably two hundred seats in here with only a dozen taken and these two are going to sit right by us?!"

I tried to concentrate on the movie, but was more worried about the two space invaders and how they were bound to notice that Don and I can put away an entire tub of popcorn by ourselves. Then, approximately three minutes into the movie, some dude sitting one row ahead of us, began laughing... loudly! "What's wrong with laughing during a movie?" you may be wondering. Well... nothing is wrong with laughing IF. IT'S. FUNNY. Have you seen 'The Adjustment Bureau'? It's not a comedy! At first, Don and I got a kick out of listening to the man laughing at humorless lines, but after awhile, it became annoying as hell. At one point, Don leaned over to me and said, "If this guy doesn't shut up soon, I'm going to suck Coke through my straw and spit it on him."

In the end, Hyena Man must have come down from his high or something, because he eventually stopped laughing. And, although I still felt paranoid about eating my popcorn, I was able to stop worrying about my husband wasting his perfectly good Diet Coke.

How High Is Your Tolerance Threshold?

Cody- "Bang the... Bang the... Bang the walls."
            "Bang the... Bang the... Bang the walls."
            "Bang the... Bang the... Bang the walls."
             Repeat this at least 150 times...


Me- "Cody! If you don't quit saying that, I'm going to bang the walls (pause) with your head."


So, I snapped. It happens. Don't judge me.


After awhile, just when I thought Cody actually listened to me and stopped his mindless chatter...


Cody- "Gotta get get...Gotta get get...Gotta get get..."


Sometimes I swear he's not happy unless I've got something stuck in my head. In case you haven't figured it out, Cody was repeating opening lyrics to the Black Eyed Peas song Boom Boom Pow.

Some Days are Just Better than Others

Remember last week when I posted a note from Cody's Day Program telling my husband and me what a joy Cody is to have around (click here)? Well, this is the note he came home with today...

Pay Attention to Me!

For some reason, Cody takes pleasure in doing things to deliberately provoke people. It's his way of shifting attention back to himself.

Don, Cody and I were running errands a few days ago, when Cody began clearing his throat excessively in the back seat of the car. (This is something Don often does after he eats and Cody enjoys bugging his dad about it.) Don and I intentionally ignored Cody. After awhile, Cody finally said, "Are you ignoring me because I'm making fun of you dad?"

Keep in mind that Cody is blind as well as autistic as I tell you another thing he did this last week. The four of us were eating dinner when Katelyn mouthed something to me and then pointed downward. As I looked under the table, trying to understand what she was saying to me, this is what I observed...

Cody often will kick people under the table. This time he wasn't kicking Katelyn, just resting his foot on top of hers, trying to get a rise out of his sister. She didn't give him the satisfaction of saying anything and he eventually gave up and moved his foot.

The Worth of a Child

Do you remember my posts about the student that stole things from our classroom, pooped in a urinal, talked out of turn and pretty much had behavior issues all school year? Well, one morning last week he said, "Mrs. Lancaster. Don't look." (Words every adult wants to hear from a child, right?) He then preceded to ask me, "How do you spell you?", so I had him search for the sight word 'you' on our Word Wall. Then he asked how to spell 'are'. Trying to encourage him, I said, "If you can't find it on the Word Wall, sound it out. You can do it." He then continued to work hard on his 'secret project'. After a time, he got out of his chair and walked over to the table where I was testing students. Handing me a piece of scratch paper, he said, "Mrs. Lancaster, will you write your name?" I quickly jotted down my name and handed it back to him. A few minutes later, he got up from his desk, came back over and handed this to me...

THIS is why I do what I do. EVERY child is worth it!

What's In a Name?

If you read my blog regularly, you know that Cody enjoys taking liberty with people's names. He either shortens them, (for instance Dr. Thompson/ Dr. T), adds to them (Teresa/ Teresa-pie), replaces them (Aunt Terri/ Copy Girl) or, if you're really special, Cody drops the name altogether and hums. Coach Sonju, one of his high school teachers, was lucky enough to hear this theme music from Cody EVERY time he saw him...




...and our family didn't even watch 'Coach' very often. Go figure.

Dirty Deed or Hilarious Hoax?

Sometimes Cody gets in trouble at his Day Program for tripping people or laughing at others when they sneeze or cough. I must admit that I felt better when I read Lynn's blog post,  Fight! Fight! Fight! Bite! Bite! Bite!: The Itchy & Scratchy & Audrey Show at  http://www.autismarmymom.com/  . Lynn revealed that her daughter also thinks it's amusing when people get hurt. It's nice to know that Cody is not alone in this socially unacceptable behavior.

I received a phone call this afternoon from an employee at the Day Program. (I cringe when their number comes up on caller ID). She informed me that Cody now thinks it's funny to take the soap dispenser off the bathroom wall. Apparently it's loose, so he removes it then laughs his butt off about it.

Cody would not do this kind of thing at home; he knows that we wouldn't put up with it. So.....the only idea I had for them was to tell Cody if he does it again, he has to call and talk to me on the phone. He won't want to hear my "angry" voice on the other end, so I really think this particular behavior will stop. At least I hope so but I never hold my breath where Cody is concerned :)

Laughing at Inappropriate Times

When people sneeze, Cody laughs. He always has. We have told him that it is inappropriate and he should say "bless you" instead, but to no avail. The staff and other clients at his Day Program don't appreciate Cody laughing when they sneeze, but I don't know what more to do. Seriously, I've learned to choose my battles and this seems trivial compared to what Cody could be doing. Haven't we all had moments in our lives when we've laughed at inappropriate times? Certainly the lady is this video has. Watch it and you'll be laughing right along with her; I guarantee it.

How Do You Eat Your Oreos?

A few years back Katelyn was at her (then) boyfriend's house eating Oreo cookies. When Katelyn picked up a cookie and dunked it into her milk, they all looked at her as if she was from another planet. Apparently, the ex-boyfriend's family considered dunking cookies in milk inappropriate. Since then it has become a bit of a joke to ask Katelyn's boyfriends if they dunk Oreo's.

Amusingly, psychologists have discovered the way people eat Oreo cookies provides great insight into their personalities. Choose which best describes your favorite method of eating Oreos and see your personality revealed below.

1. The whole thing all at once.
2. One bite at a time.
3. Slow and methodical nibbles examining the results of each bite afterwards.
4. In little furious nibbles.
5. Dunked in some liquid (milk, coffee...).
6. Twisted apart, the inside, then the cookie.
7. Twisted apart, the inside, and toss the cookie.
8. Just the cookie, not the inside.
9. I just like to lick them, not eat them.
10.I don't have a favorite way because I don't like Oreos.

Your Personality Revealed:


1. The whole thing- This means you consume life with abandon. You are fun to be with, exciting, and carefree with some hint of recklessness. You are totally irresponsible. No one should trust you with their children.

2. One bite at a time- You are lucky to be one of the 5.4 billion other people who eat their Oreos this very same way. Just like them, you lack imagination, but that's ok, not to worry, you're normal.

3. Slow and Methodical- You follow the rules. You're very tidy and orderly. You're very meticulous in every detail with every thing you do to the point of being anal retentive and irritating to others. Stay out of the fast lane if you're only going to go the speed limit.

4. Furious Nibbles- Your boss likes you because you get your work done quickly. You always have a million things to do and never enough time to do them. Mental breakdowns and suicides run in your family. Valium and Ritalin would do you good.

5. Dunked- Everyone likes you because you are always upbeat. You like to sugar coat unpleasant experiences and rationalize bad situations into good ones. You are in total denial about the shambles you call a life. You have a propensity towards narcotic addiction.

6. Twisted apart, the inside, and then the cookie- You have a highly curious nature. You take pleasure in breaking things apart to find out how they work, though not always able to put them back together, so you destroy all the evidence of your activities. You deny your involvement when things go wrong. You are a compulsive liar and exhibit deviant, if not criminal, behavior.

7. Twisted apart, the inside, and then toss the cookie- You are good at business and take risks that pay off. You take what you want and throw the rest away. You are greedy, selfish, mean, and lack feelings for others. You should be ashamed of yourself. But that's okay, you don't care, you got yours.

8. Just the cookie, not the inside- You enjoy pain.

9. I just like to lick them, not eat them- Stay away from small furry animals and seek professional medical help --- immediately.

10. I don't have a favorite way, I don't like Oreo cookies- You probably come from a rich family, and like to wear nice things, and go to upscale restaurants. You are particular and fussy about the things you buy, own, and wear. Things have to be just right. You like to be pampered. You are a prima donna. There's just no pleasing you.

Hide-and-Seek the Autistic Way

A few years ago, Cody went through a phase where he loved to play Hide-and-Seek. That may seem normal enough but let me finish. Most of the time Cody wouldn't tell us he was playing and he'd just hide, usually in the coat closet. It's a good thing for Cody that we are observant or he may have stayed in there for hours. (With him being Autistic, I am not joking at all!)

911 Emergency

Cody's latest obsession is his dad's emergency pager. When Don is home, he will let Cody hold on to it and listen to the dispatching of Paramedics and Firemen. Cody has learned what channels he must have the pager on to hear all the action. When the alarms sound, he gets very excited and yells, "Here it is!" He will then report to us everything he's heard even if we are in the same room with him. The following are a few examples:


"Oh no! Somebody is having problems breathing."
"Control, Medic One"
" Someone is having head injuries."
" Smoke is coming from a big building."
"Somebody is having stomach pain."
"Brush fire!"


 There is one problem and that is Cody only knows one volume, wide open. Sometimes there are lulls in the action and we forget he has the pager on, then the alarm goes off and scares the crap out of us. Cody thinks it is wonderful. When bedtime rolls around, he tries to take the pager with him. He will tuck it into the pocket of his pajama pants, as if we can't see the boxy thing. Of course, he doesn't understand this concept because he is can't see.


Sometimes I wonder what Cody would be doing right now if he didn't have disabilities. Would he have become an EMT or Fireman? Would he sale pharmaceuticals (I'll post more on that later)? Would he have made a great husband and father? Cody has such a sweet spirit; I like to think so.

The Divorce Drug

Cody's Neurologist added another seizure medication to his Phenobarbital. She told us, "I think this will be the best medication for Cody, but I must inform you that they call this the 'Divorce' drug." She goes on to say, "Keppra (the new drug) has a tendency to make people grumpy and I can tell that Cody is a very happy person."  Needless to say, Don and I left her office that day less than thrilled.

I don't know why we assumed being grumpy would be the case for Cody. Has Cody been grumpy? Not so far. However, he has been more quick witted.

Just this morning, Cody was dancing (in his bazaar way) to Raffi. (For those of you who may not know who Raffi is... he sings children's songs.) Don walked in the room and said, "Cody, how old are you?" Cody responded, "Twenty-Nine". Shortly after that, Don and Cody were playing around and Don "pants" Cody. He responded by saying, "Dad, how old are you?"

A while later, we were in the car and Cody said something to his dad (who was driving). Apparently Don didn't respond fast enough for Cody because Cody said, "You-hoo. Anybody home?" (He never says that!)

As Don and I were making Caramel Corn this afternoon, Don mentioned to me that we should go to Myrtle Beach sometime; to which Cody piped in and said, "I don't have any money." (As if we were suggesting he pay for the trip.) When the Caramel Corn was done,  I asked Cody if he wanted some (he has never cared for it, but I was being polite). Did Cody say "No thank you." as he usually does? You guessed it. He excitedly said, "Yes!" and then proceeded to eat a whole bowl of it.

If I didn't know any better, I'd think that Cody lives to prove the doctors wrong!

Enabling Behavior

Enabling behavior is something we do because of love. It's only natural to want to help our loved ones; however, when it comes to some things, helping is like throwing fuel on a fire.

To enable is to make things possible. It is supplying the means, knowledge, or opportunity to be or do something.

In it's true form, enabling behavior is a positive thing. It is human instinct to reach out and help someone we love when they are down or having problems. However, when we apply it to behavior and things such as addiction, financial trouble due to poor choices, and codependency, enabling behaviors have the reverse effect of what is intended.

Some examples are-

Repeatedly bailing them out of jail, financial problems, or other "problems" they get themselves into

Giving them "one more chance" - ...over and over again

Ignoring the problem - because they get defensive when you bring it up or you hope that it will magically go away

Joining them in the behavior when you know it's a problem for them - drinking, gambling, etc

Joining them in blaming others for their feelings and/or problems

Accepting their excuses and rationalizations - "I'm destroying myself with alcohol because I'm depressed."

Keeping the peace; believing a lack of conflict will help

Doing for them what they should do for themselves

Softening or removing the consequences of their behavior

Repeatedly coming to the "Rescue"

If you think that you may be an enabler, you may find the following link insightful:

http://www.egetgoing.com/drug_addiction/changing_enabling_behavior.asp

Indecent Exposure

People with disabilities can be quite entertaining and I mean this in the nicest way.

When Cody (my son) was about 8 years old and attending Oregon School for the Blind, he gave his dorm leaders quite a laugh. One morning they were trying to get the students out of bed, dressed and groomed, and to the cafeteria for breakfast. Each student has an I.E.P. with goals unique to the individual. One of Cody's goals was to dress himself. Cody proceeded to undress, but didn't put any clothes on. Because the other students couldn't see his nudity, the dorm leaders decided to see just how far Cody would go without being prompted to dress. They kept asking him, "Cody, did you forget anything?" and he kept replying, "No."! He made it all the way to the door before they stopped him and made him put something on. He would have gone out in the cold weather nude!