Parenting the Blind- Fail

Cody and I had just sat down to dinner, a meal consisting of pork chops, mashed potatoes, gravy and steamed baby carrots, when Cody said to me, “Let us” to which I questioned, “Let us what?” My brain was thinking, “Let us pray? Holy shit. We forgot to say a prayer on the food? ” (I realize that blessing and cursing don’t usually go hand-in-hand.  I’m just being straightforward. I THOUGHT it. I didn’t voice it! J ) Cody simply replied, “Let us in my potatoes.”  That’s when it dawned on me that Cody was not suggesting we DO something, he was talking about the edible green leafy vegetable---lettuce!

I looked at the piles of potatoes on our plates and realized I hadn’t told Cody that I prepared them using soft skinned Butter Golds and did not peel the potatoes before boiling like I generally do. Apparently, the texture of the skins inside the mashed potatoes reminded Cody of lettuce.

Without delay, I explained the aforementioned to Cody, assuring him that there was not lettuce anywhere on his plate.  

“Weird” was all he had to say as he continued to enjoy his dinner.

It’s moments like this when I recognize how trusting Cody is and that I could do SO much better at describing things for him. 

Attention Parents of Children with Autism

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My Autism Team

Do You Think They Are In Trouble?

This is my niece and nephew...



It's hard not to laugh because...

#1- They are so stinkin' cute!

#2- My brother (their dad) use to do the same thing when he was a little boy.

What Makes It All Worthwhile?

After work this afternoon, I came home to find this surprise waiting for me in the refrigerator...

Although she was long gone, Katelyn was thoughtful enough to pick me up a Diet Coke with crushed ice.

It's small and simple things like this that make me feel I've done something right in the parenting department.

How High Is Your Tolerance Threshold?

Cody- "Bang the... Bang the... Bang the walls."
            "Bang the... Bang the... Bang the walls."
            "Bang the... Bang the... Bang the walls."
             Repeat this at least 150 times...


Me- "Cody! If you don't quit saying that, I'm going to bang the walls (pause) with your head."


So, I snapped. It happens. Don't judge me.


After awhile, just when I thought Cody actually listened to me and stopped his mindless chatter...


Cody- "Gotta get get...Gotta get get...Gotta get get..."


Sometimes I swear he's not happy unless I've got something stuck in my head. In case you haven't figured it out, Cody was repeating opening lyrics to the Black Eyed Peas song Boom Boom Pow.

Fixing Autism

This is a very moving video about autism. Please watch...

Source: theautismsite.com via Amanda on Pinterest

How Our Family Uses Mnemonics

When I was a young girl, my grandpa taught me about word association. He told me when he needed to remember someone's name, he would try to think of something associated with that name. I've always remembered my grandpa's tip and still use it when necessary.

As my children went through school and were required to memorize assignments, I taught them the word association technique. Once, on a car trip, Katelyn brought along her homework (She's the only child of mine who would actually take homework on a vacation) and the rest of the family brainstormed to help her memorize the capital cities of all 50 states. Baton Rouge, Louisiana still stands out in my mind. We helped her remember it by thinking "Loise has too much rouge on her cheeks."

A couple of years ago, when Katelyn was going through pharmacy school, she and I came up with some unique and often funny ways she could remember the names of generic drugs. One of the drugs that I recall Katelyn learning is Levetiracetam. It's the generic drug for Keppra, something Cody takes for seizure control. Levetiracetam was one of the more difficult words to remember, so we got ridiculously creative and came up with, "Tyra (Banks) had to leave and try to seat them." ( Levetiracetam = Leave and Tyra seat 'em) Katelyn will never look at Tyra Banks the same way, but more importantly, she will never forget Keppra's generic equivalent.

Yesterday, Katelyn was trying to remember a friend's birthday. She thought it was on the 9th day of the month, but found out via facebook that it's actually the 10th. I offered this suggestion to her, "Your birthday is on the 16th, an even number. Nine is an odd number. Just remember that your friend's birthday can't be on the 9th, because it's an even number like yours."

At that point, Katelyn stated, "That's how I remember your birthday mom. When I was little, you told me I could remember your birthday is on the 29th because it's odd, just like you."

Cody's Not So Fast Food

A couple of nights ago, Cody found his Walkie Talkies and asked his dad to play with him. Since Don was heading out the back door anyway, he agreed.

(Before reading any further, if you haven't already read my post  If Cody Won a Years Supply of Ice Cream , you'll want to do so now.)

This time, the conversation between Cody and his dad went like this...

Ring, ring...

Cody- "Hello?"

Don- "Oh hi! I'll have two tacos and some..uh...what do you call them?...cinnamon sticks?"

Cody- "10-4"

Don- "When will my order be ready?"

Cody- "10-4"

Don- "WHEN will my order be ready?"

Cody- "Soon."

Don- "What's soon? Two minutes? Five minutes? Ten minutes?"

Cody- "Tomorrow."

Daylight Savings and Autism Do Not Mesh

There is no way in hell that whoever came up with Daylight Savings Time had a kid with autism. No way! 

Cody got a Talking Atomic Watch for Christmas and Don and I have been trying to set it ahead an hour without success. Don even broke out the instruction pamphlet and read it and everybody on this planet knows men would rather not have to read (or ask for) directions.

Do you realize what Cody's talking watch being incorrect means to those around him? It means that we have listened to Cody grunch and worry since early Sunday morning. (And yes, grunch is a word at our house.)

If we do not get the correct time on his watch by the end of the evening, I am going to take a hammer to it, order Cody a new one and have him keep popping Prilosec for his ulcer until it comes in the mail.




Now you all know how I feel about Daylight Savings Time...and Talking Atomic Watches.

The Cost of Raising a Child

Chase is dating a girl with an adorable 18 month old baby and it has been a real eye opener for him. While shopping at Wal-Mart last night, he text me. Here is what was said...

Chase- : D Having a kid is expensive.  (as if I didn't already know)

Me- Try having four.

Chase- No thanks!

Our short conversation brought to memory a Court of Honor that I attended, where the Boy Scout's father read the following thought provoking piece:

The Cost of Raising a Child

 The government recently calculated the cost of raising a child from birth to 18 and came up with $160,140.00 for a middle income family. Talk about price shock! That doesn't even touch college tuition. But $160,140.00 isn't so bad if you break it down..


It translates into:

$8,896.66 a year,


$741.38 a month, 

$171.08 a week.


That's a mere $24.24 a day, just over a dollar an hour.


Still, you might think the best financial advice is; "Don't have children if you want to be 'rich'."

Actually, it is just the opposite.


What do you get for your $160,140.00?


* Naming rights: first, middle, and last.


* Glimpses of God every day.


* Giggles under the covers every night.


* More love than your heart can hold.


* Butterfly kisses and Velcro hugs.


* Endless wonder over rocks, ants, clouds, and warm cookies.


* A hand to hold usually covered with jelly or chocolate.


* A partner for blowing bubbles and flying kites.


* Someone to laugh yourself silly with, no matter what the boss said or how your stocks performed that day.


For $160,140.00, you never have to grow up. You get to:


* finger-paint,


* carve pumpkins,


* play hide-and-seek,


* catch lightning bugs,


* never stop believing in Santa Claus.


You have an excuse to:


* keep reading the Adventures of Piglet and Pooh,


* watch Saturday morning cartoons,


* go to Disney movies, and


* wish on stars.


You get to frame rainbows, hearts, and flowers under refrigerator magnets and collect spray painted noodle wreaths for Christmas, hand prints set in clay for Mother's Day, and cards with backward letters for Father's Day.


For a mere $24.24 a day, there is no greater bang for your buck. You get to be a hero just for:


* retrieving a Frisbee off the garage roof


* taking the training wheels off a bike


* removing a splinter


* filling a wading pool


* coaxing a wad of gum out of bangs and


* coaching a baseball team that never wins but always gets treated to ice cream regardless.


You get a front row seat in history to witness the:


* First step


* First word


* First joke


* First date


* First time behind the wheel


You get to be immortal.


You get another branch added to your family tree, and if you're lucky, a long list of limbs in your obituary called grandchildren and great grandchildren. You get an education in psychology, nursing, criminal justice, communications, and human sexuality that no college can match.


In the eyes of a child, you rank right up there under God. You have all the power to heal a boo-boo, scare away the monsters under the bed, patch a broken heart, police a slumber party, ground them forever, and love them without limits, so one day they will, like you, love without counting the cost. That is quite a deal for the price!

Love and enjoy your children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren.


It's the best investment you'll ever make.



If anyone knows who the author is, please let me know. I would like to give credit where it is due.

"The Tub Stinks."

Cody was getting his pajamas on after his bath tonight when he blurted out, "The tub stinks."

In a matter of seconds, I had the following thoughts go through my head: Cody doesn't have the greatest sense of smell due to Choanal Atresia, so what could he possibly be smelling? What would make the tub smell bad? Are the pipes getting stinky? Crap, we remodeled and put in new plumbing three years ago. I mean, what the hell? Do we even have any Drano in the house? Should I plug in my Scentsy? I just cleaned the bathroom this morning!

Anyway, you get the picture.

So, I asked Cody, "Does it really?" (I'm sure I was giving him a WTF look, but he's blind, so that's irrelevant.)

He replied, "Yes it does, a little bit."

"What does it smell like?" I asked.

Cody answered, "It smells like butt, because I washed my butt good."

Seriously, how does one even reply to that?

FYI, there is no odor. This is just one example of Cody's autistic brain at work. He was letting me know he did a good job washing up.

The Tables Have Turned

Somewhere along the line, Katelyn has taken upon herself the mothering role.

Last week Don and Chase went to the market to get a Coke but came back with energy drinks instead. You should have seen Katelyn's face when she declared "Daaad, YOU DO NOT need an energy drink!"

So, on our way to Las Vegas this morning, I sent the following picture to Katelyn's phone after Don and I picked up a couple of Monsters at the gas station.

Her only reply back...

"Oh boy oh boy".

The icing on the cake, however, is when I asked Katelyn to proofread this post, she said, "Mommm! Did you really each get your own drink?" and when I answered "Yes" she said, "It's not funny mom. This is serious!"

I just kept laughing.

:)

How to Prepare Autistic Children for the Holiday Season

Preparing Autistic Children for the Holiday Season is an excellent article for anyone dealing with an ASD child. Check it out!

Autism and Chit-Chat

The following conversation took place between Cody and me this evening...

Cody- Do you remember that squeaky ride at the Lane County Fair?

Me- No. There were a lot of rides at the fair. I don't remember a squeaky one though.

Cody- I wish your memory was as good as mine.

Me- Me too, but sometimes I'm glad it isn't.

Cody- How come?

Me- Because there are things that I'd rather forget, like times you were in the hospital and stuff.

...long pause

Cody- I just as soon forget taking temperatures in my butt.

I suppose that shows his age. When did they stop using rectal thermometers? The late '80's?

POSH

Cody and I were sitting in the living room watching The Office tonight when, out of the blue, he leaned forward and said "Joseph was calling someone a POSH today."

Being the terrific mother that I am (hehe), I did what I always do and played his autistic mind game. I asked "What is a POSH Cody?"

He replied, "It's like dad says...a piece of crap."

I questioned Cody, "Joseph called someone a piece of shit?"

"Yes" he said.

I continued to watch The Office, making a mental note to find out who Joseph is.

True to his character, about five minutes later Cody continued the conversation by volunteering this information...

"He called me a POSH. He was teasing me."

I probably should find out exactly what goes on at Cody's day program and if uttering profanity is an everyday occurance, but right now, I just don't GASH (give a shit).

Why Not Skirt the Issue?

Rather than answering "yes" or "no" to questions he is uncomfortable with, Cody tries to sidestep confrontation by saying "a little bit". It's his way of avoiding getting caught with his hand in the cookie jar, so to speak.

Allow me to share some actual dialogue.

Me- Have you been picking at your socks, Code?
Cody- A little bit.

Me- Gross Cody! Are you drinking the pool water?!!
Cody- A little bit.

Don- Do you have the death grip on my arm?
Cody- A little bit.

Me- Did you just sit on the Speak and Spell?
Cody- Yes I did...a little bit.

Me- Did you just call Zach, Nate?
Cody- A little bit.

It seems to me that Cody uses the phrase "a little bit" A LOT more than a little bit. :)

Cody's Idea of Foul Language

Don, Cody and I went out for fast food tonight and while we were waiting in line at the drive-thru, Cody kept saying, "Cody's a dipstick OB. Cody's a dipstick OB. Cody is a dipstick OB." (For some reason, he has been talking in first person lately.)

Finally he annoyed me enough to ask, "Cody! What IS a dipstick OB?"  and this was his answer...

"A dipstick OB is like a SOB, you know?"

Cody was calling himself a dipstick of a bitch. I think he's got the dipstick part right, but I'm not too fond of the beeotch part. :)

Remember Mr. Stupid?

One thing is certain around our house. We never know what is going to come out of Cody's mouth.

Tonight, as Cody was getting into his pajamas, he randomly said, "Remember Mr. Stupid?" I tried to think of all the men in Cody's life that he would possibly be calling stupid until Cody added, "...and his dog named Kitty?"

That's when it occurred to me! Cody was talking about a book we had when our kids were younger titled 'The Stupids Step Out'. There was an entire series of books written by Harry G. Allen, Jr. about a family whose last name was Stupid. Some people didn't appreciate the humor in these books, but our family loved them. (Kinda like some of the parents at Casey's preschool umpteen years ago, who thought letting your child watch Power Rangers was going to make them violent individuals, but that's off the subject. Sorry.)


Anyhow... If you have a sense of humor, go to amazon.com and check these books out.

     

And if not? Well, maybe you should consider lightening up a bit?

Rectangles and Relationships

I have always thought of myself as a "mama bear" type of mother, but today, Cody proved me otherwise.

On Saturdays, I allow Cody to watch GSN while I'm cleaning the house and whatnot. He loves all of the game shows...Deal or No Deal, Match Game, Password, Family Feud, Lingo, Catch 21, etc. Today was no exception. Cody sat comfortably in the recliner with the television on, while I baked some cookies and cleaned the kitchen.

After I finished and turned on the dishwasher, I sat down on the sofa with Katelyn's laptop, hoping to catch up on my favorite blogs. As my mind slowed down enough to tune into the television, I looked up to see some kind of dating program on the screen. I picked up the remote and said to Cody, "What's this? We don't want to watch this. Let's find something else." I then turned the channel to 'Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives' on the Food Network and tried to settle into reading a few posts. That's when Cody interrupted me and said, "It's called Rectangles and Relationships and Iiii like it." Sure you do, I thought to myself (insert eye roll here) as I went back to GSN to see what the heck the game show is really called. (In case you don't already know, instead of being direct, Cody converses in clues.)

I learned two things.

#1 The game is called 'Love Triangles', not Rectangles and Relationships.

#2 Cody wouldn't have responded the way he did, if he hadn't watched the show a few times!

This undoubtedly explains why Cody has been obsessed with using the word "sex" lately, which brings me back to my original point.

I think my protective mother skills have gone to shit.

I'm Just His Mom. What the Hell Do I Know?

As you read this post, keep in the back of your mind that Cody hates being outdoors. He also loathes flies and bees and doesn't care much for dogs or cats either.

Katelyn spotted a frog on the sidewalk the other night so she popped her head in the door to notify us. As Don and I headed outside, Cody jumped up from his chair and wanted to come. That alone is extremely out of character for Cody, but what he did next was even more unusual.


Don, forever trying to get Cody out of his comfort zone, said to him, "There's a frog out here Code. Do you want to hold it?"

Then..., you guessed it, Cody surprised us all and answered "Yes!"

Check out these photos...

It was cute. We had to keep reminding Cody not to squeeze the little amphibian, but he thoroughly enjoyed holding it.


Just when I think I'm an expert at figuring Cody out, he goes and does something like this to prove that I really know nothing at all about what goes on in that head of his.