Friday, April 15, 2011

Date Nights and Stale Relationships

My husband and I try to go out at least one night a week for two reasons:

#1- We receive much needed respite service for Cody.

I want to emphasize "much needed" because, although Cody is pleasant and pretty easy to take care of, he isn't the only one growing old here! Parents of "normal" children eventually get to see their offspring grow up and leave the nest.

Although I shouldn't , I tend to envy the majority of people my age. They have the luxury of becoming self-centered (for lack of a better word). Empty Nester's are able to go to bed, wake up, go on a date, take a vacation, grocery shop, take a walk, visit a friend and actually be spontaneous. Gone are the days when they must sleep with a baby monitor, prepare baths, fix school lunches, hire a sitter, etc.

Hence, Don and I appreciate respite care.

#2- We both work outside the home, so our time together is very limited.

Weekly "date nights' are suppose to strengthen the marriage bond, but in my opinion, simply spending time together is not enough to keep relationships from getting stale.

For instance, Don and I went to the theater to watch a movie last night. Seated a few rows ahead of us was a young couple, probably in their late twenties. The girl had her head on her date's shoulder. His arm was around her and he leaned over and kissed her at least once (I didn't gawk at them the whole time, okay!)  I started reminiscing (in my head) about the good old days when Don and I were dating. We lived in a small town where the only place to go was the movie theater. I reached over and touched Don's leg, thinking he might actually grab my hand or something. He didn't. A while later, I sat as close to Don as I possibly could with the chair arm between us. He didn't budge. Before the movie was over, I actually tried leaning on my husband to see if he'd make a move and put his arm around me. Nope.

As soon as we got into the car to come home (about a 15 minute drive), I made my feelings known. Don said, "I'm sorry. I don't mean to ignore you."

Now, here's the part where you may want to stop reading if your my mom or my children.

As we turned the corner into the sub division where we live, my dear husband actually said, in the sexiest, most excited voice he could muster up, "I have an idea of something we could do tonight!" Do you want to guess how I responded?

A- Hell yeah. Bring it on!
B- Okay. I like having sex after an unromantic evening of being completely ignored.
C- Are you effing kidding me?!

kept too long,
no longer fresh,
bored because of doing too much of the same thing,


bbsmum said...

Oh boy, yes I get it. But how about this: when BB leaves school any daycare provision made for him counts as respite care, even though it's all during the day when hubby's at work (thanks, government cuts!) Date night? I wish.

Lizbeth said...

Ummm, I'm thinking you went with C but changed your mind to A. I have no idea why, but that's just my guess...

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