Happy 29th Birthday!

Today is Chase's birthday and to give you an idea of his personality and the role Chase plays in our family, please click on the following links:

Playful Prankster

Wittiness and Whiskers

I Don't Want a Mail Order Bride for a Daughter-In-Law

A little note here. Chase did not have to go to Russia for his mail order bride after all. He found the love of his life right here in the states (and I thank God every day). Click on Chase and Talitha's Wedding to see pics.

Chase Trimmed His Beard and I Didn't Think He Looked Gay Enough, So I Made Him Wear a Cowboy Outfit

Imitation Marijuana

Ah-La-La-La. I Can't Hear You.

Bonding Moment Between Brothers

And the last link, written by Chase himself, is one of Snippets 'N Stuff's most read posts:

Guest Post by Chase Lancaster/ 10 Proven Ways to Know When Someone is an Alcoholic


Happy Birthday Chase! Enjoy... because this time next year, you'll be the big THREE ZERO. : )

Chase and Talitha/ August 23,2013

Beer Time?

My sons, Casey and Chase, and their close friends have their own language that they speak to one another. The boys will pick two words out of a phrase and switch the beginning letters. They call it "Eaking Spenglish". Let me give you a few examples: 'thanks dude' turns into 'danks thude', 'no problem' becomes 'pro noblem', 'I'm going to take a shower' changes to 'I'm going to shake the tower'. You get the idea.

Anyway, Katelyn and I went to Santa's Workshop (a craft fair of sorts) last November and a vender there was selling signs made from old license plates. Buyers had the option to purchase the signs on display or have one custom made. Katelyn and I spotted a sign that said 'Beer Time' and I mentioned to her that I should buy it for Casey, since he just bought his first home and could use some masculine wall decor. Katelyn agreed, but came up with a brilliant idea to have Casey's sign custom made to say 'Teer Bime' instead.

On Christmas morning, both of my boys laughed when Casey unwrapped his gift. Neither of them could believe I purchased a wall hanging in "Spenglish" let alone one that condones drinking alcohol.

Here is the magnificent work of art...

He Thinks His Forklift’s Sexy

My son Chase got a new job working in a warehouse for a big electronic company. He loves it and is happy he doesn’t have to work with the public (at the liquor store) anymore.

A couple of days ago, I received this picture/text from him on my cell phone…



“If you think this is sexy, you should see it when I’m on it.”



He may be a little cocky, but it pleases me that he is excited about his job. :)

Creative Birth Announcement

This is what my husband wrote in the lawn of the county courthouse (his place of employment at the time) twenty-seven years ago today...

It's a Boy

He figured since the baby and I were at the hospital sleeping and the grass needed to be mowed anyway, why not make a public announcement out of it? I suppose his theory worked because Chase's birth made the local newspaper.

That was in 1984. Here are some things that you may, or may not, remember about that year:


1) Ronald Reagan was President of the United Sates


2) Penthouse magazine published nude photographs of Miss America Vanessa Williams.


3) The Soviet Union boycotted the Los Angeles Summer Olympics


4) Mandy Moore and Avril Lavigne were born


5) Michael Jackson's hair caught on fire during the filming of a Pepsi commercial...probably wouldn't have happened had it been Coca-Cola. Just sayin' :)


6) Los Angeles Raiders won Superbowl XVIII


7) The Cosby Show and Who's the Boss premiered


8) The top films were: Ghostbusters, Beverly Hills Cop, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, Gremlins and The Karate Kid

Happy 27th Birthday Chase!

If you'd like to read more about Chase and how he keeps me and everyone around him entertained, click here, here, here, here, here, and here. Oh yeah, there's one more here.

What Were You Doing Twenty-Two Years Ago?

My son, Casey, celebrates his 22nd birthday today. So, just for fun, I put together a list of some of the goings-on in the year 1989...

One gallon of gas was 97 cents

Postage Stamps were 25 cents

The Mirage Hotel and Casino opened in Las Vegas as the first huge resort hotel

Exxon Valdez spilled 240,000 barrels of oil into the ocean

George Bush Senior became President of the United States

Toyota launched it's luxury brand the Lexus

A massive earthquake hit the San Fransisco Bay area minutes before the world series between the Giants and A's

The Berlin Wall came down

Serial Killer Ted Bundy was executed in Florida's electric chair

Nintendo released its popular handheld video game player- Gameboy

San Fransisco 49ers won Superbowl XXIII

Batman was the top grossing film

The Simpsons premiered

The Sega Genesis was released

Popular movies: Crocodile Dundee II, Big, Three Men and a Baby, Die Hard, Cocktail, Beetlejuice

Popular TV shows: The Cosby Show, Roseanne, Cheers, America's Funniest Home Videos, The Golden Girls

Songs that hit number one: Like a Prayer/ Madonna, Baby Don't Forget My Number/ Milli Vanilli, Every Rose Has It's Thorn/ Poison,  We Didn't Start the Fire/ Billy Joel


Happy Birthday Casey!

Conversations Between Cody and His Dad/ A Father's Day Post

Cody loves his dad. I could not begin to count the number of times Cody says "dad" when Don is home. Seriously, it would be a ridiculous amount.

"Good morning dad."
"What do you think of that dad?"
"Hey dad!"
"How come you clear your throat all the time dad."
"Dad. What did you do at the 'port?"
"Did you get dust up your nose dad?"

When my other kids were little, I use to tell them if they didn't stop saying "mom", I was going to change my name, but not Cody. He is perfectly happy yakking at his dad.

Cody and Don also like to tease one another and call each other names. I have captured a few conversations Cody and his dad have had over the last week...

Cody- "You smell like a bird dad."
Don- "Really? What does a bird smell like?"
Cody- "Kinda like manure."

Don- "Hi Fred."
Cody- "S'up Dollar Face?"
Don- "Not much Pocket Change."

Cody- belching so loud that he could win any burping contest
Don-  (quite annoyed) "Have you ever noticed that nobody else around here does that?"
Cody- "Not really."

Here is a Father's Day poem Cody made up for his dad:

Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
Splenda is sweet
and so are you! 

Make your own free photo collage

Smart or Smart Aleck?

For as long as I can remember, Cody has been infatuated with abbreviations. I've listed examples of some he is familiar with.

NBA
ARFF
FAA
FBO
FBI
CIA
CSI
CPR
SCUBA
AFV
AARP
NFL
AT
NT
ATM
CLR
SSI
AC
TNT
BSA
DMV
CD
CDL
FFA
ABC
WWW
NBC

I am certain Cody knows countless others, nevertheless I was surprised this evening when Don asked Cody to help him do something and his reply was...

"DIY dad!"

I had no idea he knew that one!

Smart Aleck [al-ik]-
-noun
1. a wise guy
2. an obnoxiously conceited person


Just for fun, how many of these do YOU know?

He Did It! He Did It! He Did It!

Regular readers of my blog probably remember the post I wrote about my son Chase's ugly beard. If you are a first time reader or just don't recall the situation, click here. 

Good news! Katelyn convinced him to trim it! Thank God and Hallelujah! Check out the before and after shots...

Before

After



Of course, Chase wouldn't be Chase if he didn't try to get something out of the whole ordeal. The brat tricked me into saying I'd pay his phone bill for the month of April, but do you know what? I am sooo happy he trimmed the ugly thing, that not only did I pay his phone bill, but I scheduled family photos for this coming Sunday (before he can grow it back).

Of course, I hired a professional photographer. This occasion is too monumental to have our pictures turn out like the ones below. (These families are complete strangers to me, but funny nontheless!)

Pics for Proof

After I wrote about how much I despise my son's beard in my post Wittiness and Whiskers , some of you requested that I show some photos. 

Much to my regret, your wish is granted.



Scary and Revolting





Nasty Freakin' Beard







I wish he'd go back to this. I think shorter is better.



But, being the pigheaded, adamant, mulish, headstrong person that he is, Chase doesn't care what anyone thinks, especially his mother. (However, out of curiosity, I wouldn't mind hearing your opinions.)

LOVE YOU CHASE!

Wittiness and Whiskers

If you're a fairly new reader of my blog, there are four things you need to know about my son Chase.

1) He is 26 years old.

2) He is a tease.

3) He takes pleasure in driving me crazy.

4) He has grown the ugliest beard I have ever seen.

Now, before you become concerned about Chase reading this post and having his feelings hurt, I will tell you that he already knows perfectly well how I feel about his ugly ass beard. Chase's facial hair is the reason I refused to have family pictures taken last Christmas. Don (my husband) keeps reminding me, "The more you nag Chase about the beard, the longer he will hold out on shaving it off." That's how Chase rolls, so it's probably true.

Yesterday, as I sat at my desk, I looked down at my calendar and saw this...

Check out the 23rd of March. That is not my handwriting. Look a little closer...

If you're thinking I should just take him up on it since I hate the beard so bad, think again. I'll bet he wants $500 or some other ridiculous amount.

Hilarious, Chase. Very funny.

10 Proven Ways to Know When Someone is an Alcoholic/ Guest Post by Chase Lancaster

My mother has been hassling me, day in and day out, to write a "guest blog" for her. I have finally come up with an idea that I hope you'll find amusing.

For almost 3 years, I’ve been working for the DABC (Department of Alcoholic Beverage Control, yeah fancy huh?) During this time, I have noticed a vast difference between alcoholics, winos and drunks.

Alcoholics walk into the store and straight to their drink of choice. They know exactly how much their bottle will cost, and usually reek of their drink .

Winos are typically elderly and/or snobby, very picky about what wines they purchase, and seem to enjoy the store's carryout policy, abusing it to the full extent.

Drunks normally come in the store on the weekend. They roam around, searching for the perfect drink to get intoxicated and wipe away memories of their past work week.

The following are 10 proven ways to know when someone is an alcoholic:

1. They walk straight to their bottle (some could do this with their eyes closed, no lie).

2. They already know (by heart) what the total price of their bottle will be, plus tax.

3. They purchase plastic bottled pints. (A customer once told me he calls them "pocket pals".)

4. They are wearing the same clothes they wore the day prior (not always the case but quite common).

5. They reek of their drink. (Tequila is the most noticeable, especially Jose Cuervo, bleh!)

6. They pay in change (gotta love $3.50 in dimes and nickels).

7. They take more than their share of free candy for their kids (because they spent all their change on the bottle).

8. Their hands shake as they slide their debit card. (I’ve had to enter pin numbers on multiple occasions.)

9. They know the store's staff members by name (and go out of their way to say "hi" daily, as if we are their only friends).

And last but not least…

10. They are waiting outside the door when we open at 11 a.m. (we employees call this group "the breakfast club").

Pathetic Little Liar

Cody loves his dad and tries to emulate him, whether it be copying his tone of voice, clearing his throat, or repeating words and phrases his dad says. The two of them like to tease each other as well. They call each other names (see Dodo Head post http://www.snippetsnstuff.com/2011/01/dodo-head.html) and have an ongoing argument about how to pronounce coupon and envelope.

Last night, the three of us were watching TV when Cody passed gas. This is nothing unusual for Cody, but what he said afterward was.

Cody...toot... "It was dad."

Don- "What was me?"

Cody- "I rattled a little bit."

Cody is a rather pathetic little liar. In a matter of about 15 seconds, Cody farted, blamed his dad and then confessed.

Playful Prankster

Chase, my jokester child, is three years younger than Cody and, at times, can drive me just as nuts. He is much like the Tasmanian Devil. Everyone knows when Chase walks into a room.

I found myself thinking about the many times Chase has played jokes on me. Here are a few things that come to mind...

I came home one time to find a trail of Skittles leading from the garage door, through the kitchen, down the hall, to a note he'd left on his bedroom door.

More than once he set the alarm clock in my Coca-Cola collection to go off during the night!

Another time, upon arriving home from work, I found everything from the toaster to the television, labeled with Post-it Sticky Notes.

Not too long ago Don, Cody, Katelyn, and I came home from church and found all of our kitchen cupboards wide open and the drawers pulled out. Chase had left his mark.

Several times Chase made his handwriting look so much like mine, I didn't notice until I got to the store that he'd added to my grocery list items like Oreos, ice cream, doughnuts and Cheetos.

He did the same sort of thing when I would write out menus for the week. He'd cleverly sneak in the junk he liked to eat such as: cheeseburgers, nachos, and cheesy fries.

When he was sixteen, Chase called me from his vehicle and lead me to believe he was going be late getting home because he was behind a horrible wreck (as he walked through the front door).

These are just a few of the things that come to mind. Chase makes up stories a lot! A few years back, he had his co-workers believing some sob story about me being an alcoholic and he had to take care of his siblings because he found me passed out all of the time. ( FYI- I do not drink alcohol.)

His most recent attempt to drive me crazy can be seen in the picture below.

I found this CD in my car. Like I listen to rap! Gimme a  freakin' break child :)

Necktie Torture

My son Casey (age 21) got a job promotion and is now required to wear a necktie everyday. I love it because he looks so handsome, but there is a minor dilemma. Casey doesn't know how to tie a tie, so he's recruited his dad (Don) to be his personal, tie tying assistant.

Don hates tying ties. In fact, he's figured out a way to slip out of his neckties, so he never has to re-tie them. When Don receives a new tie for Father's Day, or Christmas, or any occasion, he gratefully accepts the gift, but then procrastinates tying it, so it goes unworn for months.

Casey bought three new neckties over the week-end and left them at our house for his dad to work his magic. When Don came home from work and saw them, he said to me, "You do know that if I have to tie three ties in one night, I'm gonna hang myself with the last one."

Casey may look like his dad, but he's inherited my love for Coca-Cola :)

(Before I get any snide comments about how Don should teach Casey to tie his own ties, I will tell you that he will. Life just needs to slow down enough for Don and Casey to be in the same place at the same time.)