Facebook Stalking

Katelyn was sitting on the sofa with her laptop last night, when she suddenly blurted out, "Oh my gosh. I think Brian is engaged!" My daughter was obviously facebook stalking, something she enjoys doing whenever she has a spare minute. Immediately, Katelyn began chatting, via facebook, with her best friend Kaitlen. (Yes. They have the same name. Try not to get confused.)

Before I show you their actual conversation, which they kindly gave me permission to use, let me set up the scenario for you. (Names have been changed to protect the guilty.)

It was only a few short weeks ago that my daughter, Katelyn, was dating Brian, a boy she met in her biology lab. Things kind of fizzled out between the two of them because Brian preferred "hanging out" in large groups and playing volleyball. Katelyn thought that was just weird. She also didn't like the fact that Brian didn't have a job and still lived with his parents in their humongous mansion bought with multi-level marketing money (a sore subject within our family).

From the way Katelyn and Kaitlen (girlie girls) describe Brian, he is a twenty-something year old Hugh Hefner except, Hugh likes pretty women and apparently Brian prefers the butchy type that live in sweat pants and don't wear make-up or shave their legs.

Now that you've got the low down, here are Katelyn and Kaitlen's texts, for your entertainment...


Katelyn- Brian's engaged!

Kaitlen- Shut your mouth!?!!!

Katelyn- Look at his wall!

Kaitlen- Hahaha. Are you kidding me? I cannot stop laughing.

Katelyn- He has to be. It only makes sense. I looked at his older posts and a lot of people are saying congrats!

Kaitlen- Are you KIDDING ME?!

Katelyn- I am pissed. Hahahaha. I want to just rant on his wall.

Kaitlen- Oh my gosh. Me too!

Katelyn- I am dying. I need to say something! What do I say? What do I say?

Kaitlen- Oh, you definitely do. Just text him or something. I don't know if I want to laugh, or cry, or vomit.

Katelyn- He is so two-faced. They haven't been back together more than two months, because that's how long it's been since we stopped dating, and Abbey broke up with him like forever ago. Why the hell is she back with him and marrying him so suddenly? I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do!

Kaitlen- Let's take him a congratulations cake and shove it in his face....and kick him in the nuts so Abbey feels no pleasure.

Katelyn- I should write on his wall and "kick him in the nuts so Abbey feels no pleasure" might be the best thing I have ever heard you say! My mom (she's talking about me here) says, "I wonder if  Abbey will wear sweats to her wedding. Better yet, I wonder if she'll wear sweats on her honeymoon night?"

and now for the punchline...

Kaitlen- I can almost guarantee it. They probably won't even have sex. They'll probably just play some volleyball!



I don't need to watch 'Big Brother' or 'The Hills' for entertainment. I live with a teenage girl. :)